single isn't being alone

i just got back from a weekly get together that has been reoccurring in my life for over a year.  it's a small group from church.  and no matter how you feel about church, i am sure you can understand the concept of having a place where you belong.  that may be in your family, at your work, the local bar, the country club...typically people have a place that they can think of where at a time in their lives they felt known.  it's a longing in our hearts to know and to be known.  one of the reasons that shows like cheers and friends were so appealing to us...because week after week we had this glimpse of people who were living in community and invited us to be a part of it.  at different times in my life i have experienced this to differing degrees: growing up in the neighborhood, youth group in high school, summer staff in college, living as an ex-pat in europe, my cohort in graduate school...  but i have to say that the longest standing experience has been the small group i am a part of right now.  we have dinner together and then dig into some conversation.  in the beginning i was the only single person, but now i am one of three.  but we are all under 35 and eager to be in community together...to be each other's people.  i was walking out the door while in a conversation with someone when it hit me that this is what it's about.  we were talking about direction and how sometimes it's difficult to discern when i spoke my mind and challenged (gently, of course) the person i was talking to about rethinking or reframing the issue.  that's what it's about...to celebrate and challenge and love and refine each other.  it's not always easy...in fact i would say living in community with people is messy...but it's good.  and it means that being single isn't being alone!